Josh Smith needs his personal space

Image from Ball Don't Lie

Beanie Wells does not want

Image grabbed from ESPN.com

Somebody at ESPN.com hates Bill Simmons

Nothing drives up the hits for your most popular writer's interview with a Hall of Fame basketball player (which is quite excellent, by the way) than making your most popular writer look like a drag queen.

There are three words that I see going through Charles Barkley's mind in this image... "DO NOT WANT."

Image from ESPN.com

Picking the Championship Seri-i?

Let's see... in my Division Series predictions, I nailed the AL picks exactly (even predicting the number of games correctly for each), but I totally blew the NL picks. I'm disappointed that I forgot how good the NL West was this year as a whole, which will happen when all the division's press is about the shitty team.

Colorado Rockies in 6. Arizona is quietly impressive, but it seems like every year the blazing hot wild card team finds a way into the World Series. Plus I refuse to pick a team with a closer who acts like he caught a two-outer on the river every time he gets an out. Seriously, Jose Valverde, I'm not a big fan of Ritalin, but for you I'll make an exception.

Boston Red Sox in 5. I can't wait for the game in Cleveland when the Canadian Soldiers come back to Jacobs Field, and all die a horrible death on the Red Sox's pine tar-coated helmets. The Boston relief pitchers might want to wear them while they are pitching too, just to be safe.

Brazilians are good at soccer

This is Marta, undoubtedly the star of this year's Women's World Cup (which you probably aren't watching). She scored two goals for Brazil in a 4-0 victory (apparently, I didn't watch) against the U.S. Americans to move on to the World Cup Final.

You may remember in the 1999 World Cup, where after a big goal by American Brandi Chastain, she removed her jersey top. Here in the 2007 World Cup, after a big goal, Marta unhinges her jaw instead. How the times have changed.

(The big question: is Marta available? Sorry boys, she's a little picky.)

Happy Talk Like a Pirate/Dress Like a Tranny Hooker Day

Photo be from x17online.com. Shiver me fuckin' timbers.

All this time I could've sworn it would be Eckstein

The New York Daily News is reporting that Rick Ankiel received a year's supply of human growth hormone in 2004. To be fair, he did receive it as a parting gift after not making it to the stage on The Price is Right.

It just goes to show you that we as sports fans have to take every feel-good story with a gigantic bag of salt. Floyd Landis probably did dope his blood. Jason McElwain was probably really just Luke Ridnour in disguise. Gordon Bombay's Mighty Ducks were point shavers.

(By the way, this headline by Dan Shanoff made me think I had stumbled onto Nation of Islam Sportsblog by accident.)

Anyway, here are a number of "Do It Your Damn Self" entries that found their way into my inbox this morning... the first three by Clare, the last one by Michael Matthew.

Let's start with an easy one

A few important things...

1. I have no idea who took the original AP photo above, but whoever you are, you're doing the Lord's work. I'm not sure we'll ever catch A-Rod with as awkward a look on his face, unless he gets found by police handcuffed to a bed in a Toronto Marriott.

2. There are a lot of inspirations for this site, indirectly FARK comment threads and I Can Has Cheezburger?, and more directly Kissing Suzy Kolber and Ladies....

3. LOL Jocks is a shitty name. If you can think of a better one, shoot me an e-mail. Or tell me in the comments.