En garde

Image from Blazers Blog via K.C.

Tyler Hansbrough took another elbow to the face

I hope Greg Oden has Old Glory Insurance

Old Glory Insurance

Image from Ball Don't Lie

Matt Hasselbeck enjoys the comedic stylings of Tim Conway

Watch out for your cornhole, OJ

Image from Kissing Suzy Kolber

Jeff Reed is either narcoleptic or blacked out

Done his damn self by Lombard

SHHH... no wait, don't SHHH

Image via Shutdown Corner

A dream deferred

Done his damn self by Harley

Prince Fielder does his best Chris Farley imitation

Photo sent in by Brandon... if you need the reference, check out the video below. Saturday Night Live used to be funny... can you believe it?

The Braves' season just got super-depressing

Teixeira gets moved to the Angels. Tim Hudson may have to get Tommy John surgery. Chipper is hurt, Brian McCann is concussed, and Francoeur can't hit. Glavine and Smoltz are out. Mike Gonzalez, who missed half the season, leads the team with FOUR saves.

I'm just guessing that towards the end of the season, Gregor Blanco will be in a Florida prison, Mark Kotsay will be catatonic after electro-shock therapy, and Mike Hampton will only have one arm.

Kevin Garnett is intense about his battle against gum disease

Ball Still Doesn't Lie

Jon Barry is susceptible to the rear naked choke

Jon Barry is Friendly, Scalable (Deadspin)

Roger Clemens really should try to stay awake during congressional hearings

Photo from Deadspin

I think the Patriots just might go 16-0

Thanks to John M. for directing me towards these photos....

Narcolepsy is running rampant in college coaching

Here we go again

Kentucky 43, LSU 37: Running up the gut on 4th-and-2? Bad call in my opinion. But even worse, Les Miles' decision NOT to go for two in the first overtime. After pulling out all the stops against Florida, you're three yards away from winning the game, and you don't take the shot? Dance with what brung you, Les!

Oregon State 31, California 28: I am a little disappointed. I was getting used to seeing a Top 5 team from the Pac-10 lose at home to an unranked opponent, but I guess that's not going to happen next weekend. The streak ends at two.

So naturally with the top two teams in the country going down, who assumes the reins of number one? The best team in a weak-ass conference. By the way, there are only two Big Ten teams in the Top 25, and one of them got beat by a Division 1-AA school. If Ohio State plays for the national championship against Boston College (potential champion of the ACC... also with only two ranked teams), we are all damned.

Unlike the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, the Boston Red Sox really know how to party

Huge props to reader Chris for pointing me towards this collection of photos of the Red Sox's postgame celebration at a Boston club after clinching the AL East (via Your Fantasy Team Sucks). All original photos are by some dude named Brandon.

What did I learn from these photos? Well, Dice-K gets sleepy when he drinks, Papelbon and Pedroia could totally do wedding receptions, and Clay Buchholz probably spent the night with a toilet. Kids.

All this time I could've sworn it would be Eckstein

The New York Daily News is reporting that Rick Ankiel received a year's supply of human growth hormone in 2004. To be fair, he did receive it as a parting gift after not making it to the stage on The Price is Right.

It just goes to show you that we as sports fans have to take every feel-good story with a gigantic bag of salt. Floyd Landis probably did dope his blood. Jason McElwain was probably really just Luke Ridnour in disguise. Gordon Bombay's Mighty Ducks were point shavers.

(By the way, this headline by Dan Shanoff made me think I had stumbled onto Nation of Islam Sportsblog by accident.)

Anyway, here are a number of "Do It Your Damn Self" entries that found their way into my inbox this morning... the first three by Clare, the last one by Michael Matthew.

Fine, tennis fans, I'll do a U.S. Open gallery

Photos from Yahoo! Sports. References: stink palm (8:30 mark)

This game turned me narcoleptic around the middle of the third quarter

Done his damn self by Justin