I hope it's not from Crohn's disease... that would be embarassing

This is a retread of an old picture of Kaz Matsui (he's with the Astros now), but if someone told me that I had anal fissures, this would probably be the exact expression on my face.

According to the Fanhouse post:

An anal fissure is an unnatural crack or tear in the anus skin. As a fissure, these tiny tears may show as bright red rectal bleeding and cause severe periodic pain after defecation. [...] Most anal fissures are caused by stretching of the anal mucosa beyond its capability. Various causes of this fissure include:

* Straining to defecate, especially if the stool is hard and dry
* Severe and chronic constipation
* Severe and chronic diarrhea
* Crohn's disease and Ulcerative colitis
* Tight sphincter muscles
* Anal intercourse

... so be good, for goodness sake! YEAH!

My World Series prediction: If the Rockies should encounter God, he will be cut

Colorado Rockies in 5. That's right, I'm picking the team that I thought wouldn't make it out of the Divisional Series. The Rockies have the formula that wild card teams that win the World Series possess... ridiculous momentum, great defense, and clutch hitting.

Meanwhile, I don't think that Boston is prepared for playing in Denver's high-altitude conditions... if the Red Sox take a game at Coors Field, I will be very surprised.

My World Series prediction: No one will crank dat Soulja Boy

One of the most entertaining things about this year in sports has been the random occurence of on-field crankin' of dat Soulja Boy, whether by mascots, Devin Hester, the University of Texas football team, or large purple child-molesting dinosaurs. Unfortunately, I sincerely doubt there will be any crankin' during this fall classic... not in between innings, not during someone's at-bat music, not even during the seventh-inning stretch, where crankin' dat would almost be therapeutic.

Unless of course, someone decides to teach Papelbon how to do it. I'm looking at you, Coco Crisp.

Meanwhile, just wait until the NBA season starts, and the entire New York Knicks team start dancing in unison during a 20-second timeout... including Coach Isiah.

(UPDATE: Just watched the latest Blog Show - where LOL Jocks makes an appearance, by the way - and they talk about the Soulja Boy phenomenon. And sure enough, there's video of the Golden State Warriors getting their crank on. Thanks, Free Darko.)

Picking the Championship Seri-i?

Let's see... in my Division Series predictions, I nailed the AL picks exactly (even predicting the number of games correctly for each), but I totally blew the NL picks. I'm disappointed that I forgot how good the NL West was this year as a whole, which will happen when all the division's press is about the shitty team.

Colorado Rockies in 6. Arizona is quietly impressive, but it seems like every year the blazing hot wild card team finds a way into the World Series. Plus I refuse to pick a team with a closer who acts like he caught a two-outer on the river every time he gets an out. Seriously, Jose Valverde, I'm not a big fan of Ritalin, but for you I'll make an exception.

Boston Red Sox in 5. I can't wait for the game in Cleveland when the Canadian Soldiers come back to Jacobs Field, and all die a horrible death on the Red Sox's pine tar-coated helmets. The Boston relief pitchers might want to wear them while they are pitching too, just to be safe.