Paul Pierce is a martial artist

You know, Lakers, I blew a 24-point lead at home once. Of course, I was playing Scrabble. Triple-word scores are dumb.

Adrian Beltre is freaking out here, man

Done his damn self (pretty brilliantly) by Mazarin

Pitchers and catchers reported (in case you hadn't heard)

Make sure you don't bring up anything about Brett Favre's Chinese or American heritage being a negative

(AP Photo/Morry Gash... here's the reference, sorry about the lack of subtitles.)

I will no longer be surprised if Boston wins a game at Coors Field

I missed the first seven innings of the Colorado-Boston game to watch Boston College pull out a win against Virginia Tech, but I did catch Papelbon being all lights out and shit.

I don't think the lack of oxygen in Denver will get to Papelbon. Dude could probably pitch in a sandstorm. It might behoove him to close his mouth though.

Question: Do kids these days even play with stick horseys anymore? Do they even know what cowboys are?

These invisable cupcakes will serve their invisable purpose

For the uninitiated, that's Mark Mangino, head football coach of the undefeated Kansas Jayhawks. He dropped his early season schedule on the floor so that it would receive its maximum flavor potential.

Remember kids, drink responsibly

Stanford 24, USC 23: I will concur with what others have said... this is probably the biggest upset in college football history. Until LSU loses to Louisiana Tech by four touchdowns next month, that is.

LSU 28, Florida 24: In my mind, the best college football game of the season so far. Les Miles, going five-for-five on fourth down? Huevos grandes, mi amigo.

South Carolina 38, Kentucky 23: Lee Corso once said, "I don't think Spurrier wins the SEC or National Title. I don't care if he coaches [at South Carolina] 400 years." And here's South Carolina, in the top ten with their only loss to the number one team in the nation. I guess that's why they pay Corso the big bucks.

Illinois 31, Wisconsin 26: I'd like to take this opportunity to personally thank Ron Zook... I don't think I could have taken two teams from the Big Ten in the top five of the polls for much longer.

Here's the reference for the last couple of images, plus a possible re-enactment of Ron Zook's own post-game celebration (hell, it worked for Larry Eustachy).

Hey, check out the wreckage

South Florida 21, West Virginia 13: Hey, South Florida! Congratulations. You're undefeated, tops in the Big East, #6 in the country. Maybe it's time you thought about getting your own place. Seriously, you're fucking up the turf at Raymond James Stadium, and my Buccaneers are already down one running back. I've saved the classified section of the Sunday paper for you.

Colorado 27, Oklahoma 24: I probably would have liked to see the thrilling finale of this game, but I live in the south, so instead I got to watch Clemson score three points on Georgia Tech.

Maryland 34, Rutgers 24: This man's poetry says it better than I ever could.


Kansas State 41, Texas 21: I think I also would have liked to watch this game, but I live in the south, so instead I got to watch Alabama punt ten times against Florida State.

Auburn 20, Florida 17: Tebow falters for the first time as a starter. However, even Auburn fans have to admit that he does a pretty good impersonation of Jesus.

The Phillies swept the Mets

The Phillies did their part to get the Mets off to a seven-game losing streak (your turn, Braves). Mets fan and apparent masochist Laura sent some pics in to commemorate the pivotal series, and I added a few of my own.

(Speaking of which, I need to contact the Franklin Mint, see if I can sell some of these on collectable plates.)








Pics 2, 4, 5 and 7 by Laura

I think even John Popper would be impressed

Photo from ESPN.com

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The stars come out for training camp

Look who showed up to Green Bay's training camp! Come on, Aaron Rodgers, let the fans see you with your helmet on!


At least he's not going to take as much punishment as new Texans quarterback Matt Schaub....


Bill Belichick is wasting no time getting the Patriots ready for real-game situations....


Vince Young and Titans safety Donny Nickey got into a little tiff on Wednesday, but it looks like they've kissed and made up.


I'm wonder if Travis Henry, who left Tennessee for Denver, is still on Vince's "friends" list...


You better stay hydrated, Travis, you never know who's coming behind to take your spot...


(That's Denver Broncos tight end Mike Leach and his 18-month old son. Personally I can't think of a better father than Mike Leach.)


Over at the Baltimore Ravens camp, linebacker Ray Lewis is already in postseason form...


(Get well soon, Todd Heap.)

Then there's the rookies, who always end up getting the shitty jobs during training camp...


... but then all that hard work eventually pays off somewhere down the line. Right, Eli?


AP Photos from Yahoo! Sports

Looks like Cinemax is filming their own version of "Hard Knocks"

This image reminds me of Pablo Francisco's bit about softcore porn BJs (SFW)... "You wanna see? You wanna see?... NO."

Thanks to TheStarterWife from Ladies... for the image... you know you're a blogging success when you've got women sending you fake porno.

Water is wet, the sky is blue, someone cheated in the Tour de France

This is Alexandre Vinokourov, one time favorite to win the Tour de France for make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhstan. Today his team, Astana, pulled out of the race after Vinokourov's positive test for an illegal blood transfusion.

This means that three of the four Kazakhs participating in the Tour are now out of the race. But for those who still want to make Borat jokes, there's still Dmitriy Fofonov, who is currently 40 minutes behind the leader. Great success!


Photos from Yahoo! Sports

How did I spend my Saturday night? Watching David Beckham sit on his ass for an hour

David Beckham made his debut for the Los Angeles Galaxy Saturday night in a friendly against FA Cup winners Chelsea.

Chelsea won the match 1-0 in a game that was really not as close as the score indicated. The Galaxy did not seem to have many scoring chances at all, and the few they had they squandered. (Just like watching the USA in the World Cup!)

You don't really need to pay David Beckham $250 million to lose 1-0 to Chelsea. You do, however, need to pay David Beckham $250 million to get this many fans and media to show up.




(By the way, Posh Spice, Eva Longoria, and Katie Holmes were all in the same box at a soccer game for at least two hours. This is the recipe for some of the worst conversations of all time. We can all thank God they weren't miked up.)

(Also, I was secretly hoping that Posh Spice would get caught on camera doing blow at some point during the game.)

I honestly didn't think that Beckham would see playing time, but sure enough, with about twelve minutes left in the game, here comes Becks....



... and then, minutes later, down goes Becks.


In the end, everything turned out okay. The Galaxy earned a hard-fought loss against an actual quality football club soccer team. David Beckham got to perform in front of his new fans, and his ankle didn't fall off.

I'm guessing that now Beckham will be able to rest up his ankle, and start acclimating to the life of a professional athlete living in the United States.


AP Photos from Yahoo! Sports