NFL Week 2 Wrap-up: Cheaters sometimes prosper

Patriots 38, Chargers 14: Well now we've done it. The Patriots, as a team, are all pissed, and will probably be pissed throughout the entire season. I'm fully expecting Eric Mangini to lead off a future press conference by saying, "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds. Any questions?"

Oh, and as an added bonus, Patriot fans are now uber-defensive! Woo-HAH!

Packers 35, Giants 13: Brett Favre is now the winningest quarterback in NFL history, and Aaron Rodgers is still the most bored quarterback in NFL history. For the Giants, Jared Lorenzen is the girthiest quarterback in NFL history, and Eli... well, he's just not the best at anything.

Buccaneers 31, Saints 14: I'm so sorry, Buccaneers. I didn't mean it. Let me make it up to you. I'll take you to Carrabbas, and afterwards we can go see Hairspray like you wanted.

Browns 51, Bengals 45: I am amazed by the fact that whenever the Bengals get into one of these entertaining shootout games that they appear built to win, they always lose them (45-37 Colts in 2005, 49-41 Chargers last year). All I can say is, at least the Cleveland Browns fans can appreciate a good show.

NFL Week 1 Wrap-up: There can be only one

Cincinnati 27, Baltimore 20: Hey Ocho Cinco... next time check your jacket for spelling errors, buddy. By the way, Steve McNair got hurt late in this game, and Kyle Boller had to finish. Who could've predicted that?

San Francisco 20, Arizona 17: The ugliest pro game that you will ever see ending early on a Tuesday. Insufferable fantasy football note: I wanted Alex Smith as my starting fantasy quarterback, but i thought that the ninth round was too early to take him, so I grabbed Tony Romo instead. And this is why I am awesome.

Denver 15, Buffalo 14: One of three game-winning field goals on Sunday (including Green Bay over Philadelphia... and Washington over Miami), but the most badass considering that the entire field goal unit had to run a Chinese fire drill to get the kick off in time. Dance, bitches!

New England 38, New York Jets 14: I know that the Patriots' dominance was the story in this game. And I know that Pennington got injured, and it's not nice to make fun of injured folks. But when I get a chance to reference a vague Kids in the Hall recurring character, I take it.

Dallas 45, New York 35: Awesome picture sent in from Matt, although I know a certain emo band that would respectfully disagree with him.