You'll never guess what "Ausfallen" means

Congratulations to Spain on winning the second soccer match that I've watched during the duration of this blog. (In case you don't remember, here was the first one.)

Babelfish Translator

World Cup Z

Image from Charlie at Sniffing the Touchline

Pro wrestling tactics... not just for Pacman Jones anymore

Of course, some soccer players pick up the moves a little quicker than others.

Done his damn self by Jordo (if that is his real name).

Brazilians are good at soccer

This is Marta, undoubtedly the star of this year's Women's World Cup (which you probably aren't watching). She scored two goals for Brazil in a 4-0 victory (apparently, I didn't watch) against the U.S. Americans to move on to the World Cup Final.

You may remember in the 1999 World Cup, where after a big goal by American Brandi Chastain, she removed her jersey top. Here in the 2007 World Cup, after a big goal, Marta unhinges her jaw instead. How the times have changed.

(The big question: is Marta available? Sorry boys, she's a little picky.)

Soccer fans are all about some LOL Jocks

Big props to readers Sven and Charlie Clayton, who sent in a bunch of soccer pics over the past week. Unfortunately, besides Beckham and Sloth from The Goonies, I have no idea who any of these guys are.







First four by Sven, last three by Charlie Clayton. And I'm just guessing, but Lindsay's flavor is probably herpes.

Becks, you better double bag it... you don't know where that bitch has been

And no, Lindsay, that doesn't count. No £25,000 for you.

Photo from J-Money of Ladies...

How did I spend my Saturday night? Watching David Beckham sit on his ass for an hour

David Beckham made his debut for the Los Angeles Galaxy Saturday night in a friendly against FA Cup winners Chelsea.

Chelsea won the match 1-0 in a game that was really not as close as the score indicated. The Galaxy did not seem to have many scoring chances at all, and the few they had they squandered. (Just like watching the USA in the World Cup!)

You don't really need to pay David Beckham $250 million to lose 1-0 to Chelsea. You do, however, need to pay David Beckham $250 million to get this many fans and media to show up.




(By the way, Posh Spice, Eva Longoria, and Katie Holmes were all in the same box at a soccer game for at least two hours. This is the recipe for some of the worst conversations of all time. We can all thank God they weren't miked up.)

(Also, I was secretly hoping that Posh Spice would get caught on camera doing blow at some point during the game.)

I honestly didn't think that Beckham would see playing time, but sure enough, with about twelve minutes left in the game, here comes Becks....



... and then, minutes later, down goes Becks.


In the end, everything turned out okay. The Galaxy earned a hard-fought loss against an actual quality football club soccer team. David Beckham got to perform in front of his new fans, and his ankle didn't fall off.

I'm guessing that now Beckham will be able to rest up his ankle, and start acclimating to the life of a professional athlete living in the United States.


AP Photos from Yahoo! Sports

No, you can't see an aging pop star's crotch. NOT YOURS

You know, Becks and Posh have been married for so long, he probably knows her vagina like the back of his hand.

OK, I'll stop.

Image courtesy of Kickette via With Leather