Clearly, this is the worst thing going on in sports right now

Tour de France leader Michael Rasmussen was dismissed from his team and dropped from the race for "violating [the team's] internal rules." Rasmussen missed two drug tests in June, claiming he was in Mexico, when a former rider's best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Rasmussen pass out at 31 Flavors in Italy. I guess it's pretty serious.


For those of you scoring at home, this moves American Levi Leipheimer of team Discovery Channel up to third place in the standings, only three minutes outside the lead. My guess is he will probably end up the winner after tour officials find a live cheetah hooked up to IVs in Alberto Contador's hotel room during Stage 18, and then later discover Cadel Evans is actually banned rider Ivan Basso wearing a Scooby-Doo style mask.

I'm sure that another American winning their Tour will make the French happy.


Photos from Yahoo! Sports

Water is wet, the sky is blue, someone cheated in the Tour de France

This is Alexandre Vinokourov, one time favorite to win the Tour de France for make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhstan. Today his team, Astana, pulled out of the race after Vinokourov's positive test for an illegal blood transfusion.

This means that three of the four Kazakhs participating in the Tour are now out of the race. But for those who still want to make Borat jokes, there's still Dmitriy Fofonov, who is currently 40 minutes behind the leader. Great success!


Photos from Yahoo! Sports